[01 Nov 2006|09:28pm] I hate that I feel like I need a boyfriend to be happy. I hate that I rely so heavily on other peoples love, that I lost all respect for myself. I hate that I cant smile without knowing deep down that I dont mean it. I hate laughing to cover up tears and I hate crying because it only makes it hurt more. I hate that whenever someone talks about love, hes the only person I can think about. I hate it, I really do. When will I be ok? :'( !!

[30 Oct 2006|01:26am] I used to be able to grab a piece of paper and a pen, and just write down every last detail about how I felt and without effort, it would come out flawless. But between fitting in and missing out, I lost feeling and I lost emotion. I just can't describe how I feel anymore without constantly using words such as "like, totally, and completely". I've turned into every other average, low-key, unaffected teenager, and that is something I've always promised myself would never happen. Sometimes I think it's better this way, because I don't build myself up only to get let down and I can have fun without thinking twice about the consequences. But what's a life without imagination? And what's a life without looking for the deeper meaning? It's not a life at all. It's an existance. !!

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